Being a deadbeat has nothing to do with being a dad, you are first a deadbeat man before you are a deadbeat dad.

“I would have been a shit father back then, I had money problems, and couldn’t raise a child, the pregnancy was a surprise, and I didn’t want children yet and panicked,” none of these reasons are good excuses.

After all those years, all the heavy lifting has been done, and the selfish arrogant, me-centred people, eventually start finding themselves isolated and alone and start going back to the people they abandoned.

Sometimes they grow up, their guilt finally kicks in, or something happens in their life that makes them realize they want their child to be in their life.

Every situation is different, and there could be personal, emotional, or circumstantial factors at play.

A deadbeat father can have gone through personal growth or life changes that have led him to want to be more involved.

It’s also possible that the father may have had difficulties or challenges that prevented him from being present earlier.

Regardless of the reasons, it’s not up to the absent father to engage in open and honest communication to address any underlying issue, this is fully dependent on whoever has been taking full responsibility of the child.

Many of these types of people can come back only to vanish again if and when the circumstance doesn’t meet their expectations, leaving the kid to feel rejected once again.

Building a positive relationship all starts with being present, you can’t come out of the dungeon where you have been hiding & start destabilizing people’s lives.

We have seen celebrities, and other successful people whose dads pop out of nowhere after their life starts progressing.

More times it’s because the child is now showing signs of promise and the ability to help the deadbeat down the road.

Dealing with a teenager is easier than dealing with a baby. He wants all the feelgood parts of fatherhood minus the responsibility.

When a deadbeat shows up later in life, the change of heart is unlikely to be from wholesome intentions.

Whatever one does with this former father, it’s important to keep a healthy distance.

If one decides to allow this man back into their life, do so slowly, with clear boundaries.

Do not just jump into this with both feet, because you don’t really know what is in this mans heart. You need to keep him within a metal fence, and then give him time to prove himself worthy. You don’t have to appease other people’s regrets.